just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
