I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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