We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Randomize
