Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
