Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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