Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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