I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize