i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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