that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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