She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
