I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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