Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
