im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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