I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
