brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
