Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
