Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
