It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
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