Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
