$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
