The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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