If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
