I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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