Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
