I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
