he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
we made out on top of his cat.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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