the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
