Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
