Pappa wants mamma naked
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
