Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I wear drunk well.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
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