I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
