But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
