This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
