We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Randomize
