xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Randomize
