Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
