It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
