Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Randomize
