i barfeds in our rink
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
