Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I need a beard to bite.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
