I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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