Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
