i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
