nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
