I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
