apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Randomize