I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize