There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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