She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
