I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Randomize
