I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
