he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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