going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
