how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
