he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
