You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
