so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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